Edge of Everywhere

I’m Too Asexy for This Dance

Posted on: April 18, 2010

I know it’s been forever since I’ve written anything. I’ve had no shortage of ideas for posts, though, and I’m going to try to find time to write them down.

I’m going to be in a hip-hop dance show, and one of the dances is a “sexy” dance. It’s fast-paced, but there’s a lot of gratuitous hip-thrusting, and I know we’re all expected to channel our inner sexy pop diva. Therefore, I’ve been thinking about what it means for an asexual to act sexy.

One dictionary definition of sexy is “arousing or tending to arouse sexual desire or interest.” I obviously have no motivation to present myself in this way–in fact, the idea makes me very uncomfortable, especially since my family and friends will be watching me.

However, I also know that when women talk about feeling sexy, it isn’t always in terms of sexual attractiveness to others–it can also mean strong, sassy, and confident. I may not have a sexy side to tap into, but I can channel all of those things, so that’s what I try do when I dance.

2 Responses to "I’m Too Asexy for This Dance"

Well… a sexy dance is a SEXY dance. If that was a funny dance… they would call it by FUNNY dance… the same for “frenetic” and “crazy” dances.

And to be ‘sexy’ is exactly what you said “arousing or tending to arouse sexual desire or interest”.

So… everyone can be sexy.

But I don’t know why a ace would like to act in a sexy way…

The “sexy” has been undergoing changing in meaning in some contexts just to mean “good” or “visually appealing” or something like that. For instance, some people say things like, “I want this presentation to be sexy.” But they don’t mean that they want it to be sexually arousing. In the case of the sexy dance, it may be somewhere between these meanings. (In fact, one way that lexical change like this can happen is cases where originally, a word means A, then it is often used in contexts where it could mean A or B [where, in context, it doesn't make a difference], and then it comes to be used sometimes as B, in contexts where it does make a difference [like the presentation.])

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