Edge of Everywhere

Intimacies in Conflict

Posted on: February 15, 2009

There’s a really interesting storyline right now on the TV show Private Practice that shows the tension that can arise between a person’s romantic/sexual and close non-sexual relationships. Cooper’s girlfriend Charlotte is jealous of his relationship with his best friend, Violet, with whom he is currently living because she’s pregnant and single and he wants to be there to help her. While Charlotte does not see Violet as a romantic or sexual rival, the emotional intimacy of Cooper’s relationship with Violet makes her feel hurt and left out and not knowing where she fits. She tells him that as his girlfriend, she should be his best friend.

Violet is not asexual, but I know that many asexual people (myself included) can identify with her position in this type of situation. The storyline also raises the issue of the way people in general are taught to define and compartmentalize our relationships, and the difficulties we can all face in maintaining intimate relationships (sexual or not) with multiple people, or with someone who has them with people besides us.

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