Edge of Everywhere

Unrealistic Expectations

Posted on: July 12, 2009

I think it’s funny when sexual people assume that all it takes for them to have a chance with someone is having a compatible sexual orientation. One of my heterosexual guy friends told me that he had a huge crush on a female member a popular indie band until he found out she was a lesbian and his hopes were crushed. As if the only reason he’d never end up with her is because she likes girls, not because she’s from across the country, spends most of her time touring, and will most likely never know he exists.

I’m always surprised when I remember that for a lot of people, crushes are predicated on the expectation of something happening, because for me, they’re simply a pleasant feeling of looking forward to seeing someone cool and enjoying my time with them (or, if they’re an actor or musician, enjoying their performances).

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4 Responses to "Unrealistic Expectations"

Same here. The few times I had crushes on guys, it didn’t even occur to me to “pursue” anything. I thought that whether the other person liked me back was just a matter of chance, and so if they never reciprocated my feelings I didn’t feel let down.

I just discovered your blog, and I love it. Thanks for sharing your journey.

Peace,
Eric

Hi, Eric! Thanks so much. I’m glad to share my journey and am always excited to hear about other people’s experiences. I look forward to reading more of your comments.

I agree with the above posters. I have some pretty female friends that I just like for who they are, yet people are pressuring me to date one of them. I’ve been a boyfriend and a lover, but it felt akward to me everything I was in a traditional type of relationship. Being in an asexual/platonic relationship makes me feel much happier and much more like I can be myself. Physical relationships (kissing, sex, etc.) just ruin and confuse everything. Which leads me to another question…..

if sex is such a great thing, why does it bring so much drama? I hear, “Just wait until you start having sex.” So, I’m going to die if I don’t ‘get laid’ or ‘a piece of ass’? Some how I’m nota real man because of that? Okay.

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